I’m in my final trimester. No, not pregnant…though three times I did carry babies to full term. Now, I’m in my final trimester awaiting a heavenly rebirth. I guess that makes me old.
Recently, a young co-worker said to me, “what does it feel like to be old? Is it like hitting a wall? Did you just wake up one morning to find it had happened?” I chuckled, and said that no, it’s more like baby steps, incrementally losing one little piece of youth at a time.
I spent my 50s fighting the reality that I was nearing the end of the second trimester. It simply could not be possible that so many years had passed and I was wildly careening towards old age. Untouched, my hair was already white, and an MRI of my aching back revealed a good amount of arthritis. I spent several days in the hospital (two different times) after strange episodes, and every time I got my eyes checked my vision demanded a stronger prescription. Yes, even in my 50s, it was evident. Those baby steps were adding up.
So now, here I am. In the final trimester. These are the days when I can’t find a word I’ve misplaced (not to mention my keys or my phone), I have saggy skin, age spots, and I’m done coloring my hair because it doesn’t fool anybody. Even my hands look old. I am regularly reminded that though the days gone by outnumber the days ahead, there is still much to be done. I don’t want to run out of time before doing whatever I can to make a difference in my world. I have three grown kids, two in-law spouses, and seven grandchildren. I can cry in an instant just thinking of the love I have for them and the magnitude of the things I hope for them. They are my greatest legacy and they bring me deep joy. But even more, there is the 45 years I’ve spent with my extraordinary husband, who has demonstrated unconditional love and true faith and for whom I possess unlimited gratitude. He believes in me even now, as I commit to a new endeavor here in my final trimester.
Then there’s you, reading these words right now. I’m not sure how you found your way here, but it is my fervent desire that somehow, some way, you’ll be moved by what you read here and drawn closer to God in a way that brings you hope for your future and resolve for today to honor Him in the here and now. I pray that you’ll be able to laugh at yourself, see the light at the end of the tunnel, and have the courage to stand up to whatever holds you back.
I’m so glad you’re here. Whether you’re wondering about what it will feel like to grow older or you’ve realized you should never again wear a sleeveless top, you are the reason seriouslygirl.com exists. I’m praying for you, and I’m excited about the God-led adventure we are embarking on together. Let’s do this thing!
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
– Isaiah 46:4 (NIV)