Dear Gigi,
I always have to ask my husband before I buy something. I feel so stifled and controlled.  How can I convince my husband to trust me?

I’m as intrigued by what you haven’t said here, as by what you have said. Why does your husband not trust you? Have you exhibited poor spending judgement in the past? Do you and your husband have conflicting views on spending? Do you have different financial goals? The answers to these questions may help guide you in where to go from here.

For example, if your spending has been uncontrolled in the past, you will need to rebuild trust in the present. How? By graciously yielding to your husband’s attempt to get the finances under control by requesting accountability. 

If you and your husband have conflicting views on spending, you may need some help to come to a place where you are working together to achieve mutual financial goals.  I would suggest you talk to your pastor about a recommendation for a Christian financial counselor.

Flyboy and I decided early on that we each wanted to be accountable to the other when it came to money.  We agreed that we could each spend up to a certain amount without discussing it with each other, but anything over that required mutual agreement.  This way, it wasn’t just “his” money, or “her” choice, it was shared between us and we made the decisions together.  You might share this idea with your husband.  If you can approach your finances as a team, you are on the road to building trust.

Love,
Gigi

Whoever loves money will never have enough money;
whoever loves wealth will not be satisfied with it.  – Ecclesiastes 5:10 (NCV)

Recommended Resource: Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University