My readings take me to Genesis 32 today where Jacob wrestles with God through the night. I am puzzled by these words:
25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
How could this “man” (angel? God himself?) not be able to overpower Jacob but can wrench his hip with a touch? What does this mean? And why did the “man” let Jacob win? The “man” is the one who said, “let me go, for it is daybreak.” Why did the “man” engage Jacob in a wrestling match in the first place?
The long match finally ended:
Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”
Jacob is commended for struggling with God and not giving up, even when his hip was injured. He is commended for struggling with humans and not giving in.
What does this mean to me? When I feel like giving up and doing nothing, when I am depressed by a lack of interaction and feeling alone, this is no time to give up on God. For some reason I don’t yet understand, Jacob was challenged to this match and his never-say-die attitude was praised. He had a strength of character and will that propelled him to fight for more.
There it is.
More.
My first encounter with my word for the year. More.
Jacob wanted more. He had an encounter with the holy God and lived. He said to God, I am not giving up until you bless me. He had earlier in his life received the blessing of his father, but he realized that the blessing of God was what he needed most.
He needed more.
I need more.
When I am tempted to give up and do nothing, that is my sign that I need more. I need to pursue God like never before, giving him his due each and every day, leaning on him in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving.
More of You Lord, more of You,
in the things I say and do
less of me Lord, less of me
so more like You I can be.
Lord, I give You my doubts,
take with them all my fear
move me closer to You
so I can draw to You near.
More of You Lord, more of You,
oh Dear Lord, can’t You see
I want to live just for You
and die to all of me.
Lord, I give You all my love,
take my heart and mind too
be my soul’s true reflection
till all I see is all of You.
More of Your will, less of mine,
give me eyes no longer blind
show me Your saving Light
so more of You I can find!
Love,
Gigi
Many, O Lord my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. — Psalm 40:5 (NIV)